Changes and Stages

I was surprised this morning by the change in my almost-4 year old.  It is easy to take note and celebrate the changes that happen so rapidly in young babies.  The first tooth is soon joined by others in rapid succession, and you stop noticing.  The first attempts at crawling are watched with anticipation, and before you know it the little one is flying all over the place on his hands and knees as if he'd been born doing it.  First steps, first words, first sentences, are all easy milestones to notice.

Once those have passed, though, the change is more subtle and harder to notice.  The change between 3 and 4 is subtle, a more fluid motion in the movements, a change of focus from self to those around her, a maturity in the facial expressions.  These things sneak up on me, but when they hit me, they strike me with more wonder than the "firsts".  These are marks of maturity, and give a glimpse into who this little person will become.  Somehow I find that to be so much more astounding, and awe-inspiring.

As they grow, it gets even harder to notice the change.  It is so gradual.  For my 8 year old, it comes in moments of self-possession, or acts of service, or a profound thought.

Those moments still surprise me, and that glimpse into the future is a priceless gift easily overlooked.

Every baby gets teeth, learns to crawl then walk, and eventually speaks.  These later moments are so much more unique and precious.  They are a glimpse into the personality and the person each will become.

Rate Hikes in a Bad Economy

I am seriously considering raising my rates.  I have raised my rates only once since I started this business almost seven years ago.  It is painful to do at the best of times because I know that daycare is a family's largest expense after a mortgage, but it is necessary once in a while.

It is especially difficult to consider when the economy is in such a bad place.  It is difficult to ask more of families who might already be experiencing tightening budgets.  It is not something I consider lightly.

Costs are rising everywhere.  Food, gas, taxes, wages, supplies.  I do my best to save money without compromising the quality of the food I provide, and the activities I offer.  I have finally been able to afford refreshing my art supplies in an effort to provide better learning tools, and add a few new games and toys.  It is long past time to replace all of my puzzles, but that will have to wait.  It's been a couple of years since I celebrated birthdays and holidays for the kids.

I know other facilities build a percentage rate hike into their contract every year to keep up with the cost of living.  I am trying to avoid that.  This is difficult.  I wonder how other in-home daycare providers deal with this, and how often.

CARES Evaluation

It has been a chaotic month.  The new kids have settled in, the school schedules have been worked out, and things are beginning to smooth out once again.

I realized earlier this year that it was high time I updated my website.  There have been a flood of inquiries lately, and some of them have asked about my website.  I haven't updated it since 2006, so that is on my more pressing to do list.

Today I had an evaluation of my program done by the county's research and referral organization.  They do much more than referral service, and one branch of their office is dedicated to being a resource to child care professionals.  One of the many programs they offer is a stipend program to encourage child care providers to increase their education.  As I have been attending child-related classes since soon after I started this business, I have participated in their program every year for the last four years or so.

Three years ago they made it a requirement that anyone participating must have a site evaluation.  There is a set of standards that, I believe, was published by the Department of Education, that the evaluator uses to judge my program.  Each topic has a scale of 1-5, and covers many areas of the program from hygiene to exercise to education.

The evaluation is approximately four hours long and consisted of the evaluator watching the interaction with the children, observing the daily routine, inspecting all of the materials available to the children, and finally interviewing me to answer all the questions that were not obvious from her observation.

This is my third evaluation.  Every year I learn something new that I'm not doing well, and work to find a way to rectify it.  Some of their criteria is absurd and impractical, and I have to accept that I will not meet their requirements and move on.  Some have been areas I know I lack, but can't seem to find the money or the means to improve.  Some have been very good ideas, and areas in which I had no idea I could improve.  All in all I am usually grateful for the advice.

This year I was quite nervous about the whole thing.  I have done so much to improve my facility over the last few years, and it has kind of become routine.  I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I will know soon just how closely my opinion matches those of the regulators!

When it rains, it pours...

Yesterday I was going to write about finally having to lay off my assistant because my numbers are so low.  All summer I've been hoping to sign new clients to make up for the three I'm losing to school this month, but although I've had a steady stream of interviews, nothing seemed to click.

Then last night I had an interview that went very well.  (Although those can be deceiving, and I never count on anything until the contract has been signed.)  After that an appointment to sign a contract for a girl that will be full-time.  Then, on my way to dinner with my husband, my sister-in-law called me needing daycare for her two kids... starting today.  I guess my helper will be keeping her job after all!

On a side note, my niece is four and my nephew is 19 months.  They have been home with dad for the last year or so, and I was worried about how my nephew would respond.  He didn't seem to mind daddy leaving, but when the next dad came in to drop off, there were tears and that got him started crying.

Immediately his big sister ran over to him, gave him a big hug, and patted him on the back saying "there, there, A, I'm right here.  I'm not going anywhere.  I've got you."   It was the cutest thing, and so grown up sounding!

Swim Lessons

Two weeks of swimming lessons have wrapped up for the summer.

My very first client when I started this business almost seven years ago is a school teacher, so she gets the summer off.  It also just so happens that she worked many summers teaching swimming and being a life guard while she was in college.

For five years or so she's been teaching swim lessons at my home every summer.  Every parent interested can enroll their child in swim lessons that happen during the day while the kids are already here, and that money goes toward paying for daycare for the swim teacher in the fall.  This works especially well for her, since teachers get paid monthly, and at the end of the pay period, so it's a long dry summer for her, and school (and thus daycare) starts before she starts getting paid.

All in all, a win-win for all!

So our 5th year of swim lessons have wrapped up for the summer.  Only a couple kids (hers and mine) have been here for all five years, but everyone this year had been here for at least two years.  It is amazing to see the progress.

This is the first year that we've done the lessons every day for 2 weeks.  In the past, it's been once or twice a week for 6-8 weeks.  I believe the daily lessons have been so much easier on the kids.  For the couple of kids that I had that were afraid of the water, by the third day in the water, they were over that and ready to do anything the teacher asked. It helps tremendously that she is such a good teacher.

I have had several kids who are not in my care, but have heard about the lessons, come just for the lessons.  One of these had taken her child to another teacher previously.  She ended up coming back the following year just because my parent/swim teacher was so much more effective and got so much more out of the kids.  (Her words.)

All I know is that my son has never been to any other swim lessons, and has been swimming for three years now.  This from being scared of the water his first two years and being afraid of getting his face wet!  Now he's a little fish, and can swim freestyle, backstroke, elementary backstroke, and this year they learned the breast-stroke.

For someone who doesn't swim (me) this is all amazing and cool.  And, it makes my pool a partial write-off!  Yay!

Networking

Finally, after many months of planning, and over a year of considering, I finally held the first Folsom/El Dorado Hills family child care provider's networking meeting last night.  It was designed to be a social setting, with wine and snacks, where providers could compare experiences, ideas, and stories.

I sent the invitation through e-mail, which probably isn't the best way to reach providers, but is cheaper and easier than paper mailings.  It is probably still more effective even for those that don't use e-mail often, considering how much mail is junk.  Out of the 50+ e-mail addresses I had, I got 10 yes, and 9 no responses.  Most of the non-responders didn't view the e-vite, so I probably had a bad e-mail address or they may not be doing daycare anymore.

Of the 10 yes responses, 6 actually came.  I'm not sure if that is a good turnout, but I'll try again in October to see if we get a better response.  Some of the no's did express interest, even though they were not available this week, and I plan on following up with phone calls to see how many of the ones that didn't respond are even in business any longer.

I'm hoping to form a group that will bring together the providers in a network that can mentor, share ideas, refer, and otherwise share in what is a solitary profession.  The benefit of bringing together experience and creativity to a field where each provider is generally responsible for learning and doing on her own far outweighs the inconvenience of one more commitment every quarter.  But that's just my opinion.

I guess it remains to be seen if anyone else will agree!

Nothing exciting...

...has been happening for a while.

The theater near me offers free family movies all summer long Tuesday-Thursday.  Wednesday, I took the biggest kids and went to the movies while my assistant stayed with the younger ones.  It was really a costly choice, since I didn't have enough kids even to have my assistant work at all, but I had a dentist appointment in the afternoon she was going to cover me for anyway, so what's a few more hours?

We went to see The Tale of Despereaux.  I hadn't seen the movie but I had seen the previews, and it looked like a cute movie about a mouse.  So I took a 3, 4, and 7 year old.

The movie was decent, although not as much about the mouse as the rats!  Overall, I thought it was more dark than not, and although she seemed ok, I was afraid the 3 year old would have been scared by it.

Other than that, jump house in the garage, water play in the backyard, and yummy veggies from the farmer's market are all that is new for summer!

Summer Days

It's the middle of June and it's finally warm enough to get wet.  Finally!  It's been a long time coming.

I have two water tables that I fill with water during the summer, and the kids will play with cups or splash, or the very young ones tend to climb right in.  The little ones love to just sit in the water.

This year I have a small wading pool that I had gotten, originally, to put sand in.  I haven't gotten around to buying sand, but it's works well as a... well, wading pool!  So, I put it out and the kids, in true child creative genius, decide to put it at the bottom of the play structure's slide and fill it to the brim.  They slide down into a pool full of water, make a splash, and laugh and laugh and laugh.   It is fun to watch.

The bigger the kid, the bigger the splash!  And the ones not brave enough to slide down, stand in front for the splash.  Great fun all around.

I love summer water play.  It is consuming, endlessly entertaining, and completely tiring.  We finished the day by turning on the front yard sprinklers, and getting more wet.

Now for figuring out the swimming lesson schedule!

Verbalizing

I have a little girl, 3 years old, who doesn't speak.  Not because she doesn't have the ability or the vocabulary, she just chooses not to.

When she wants something, she stands and stares with mournful brown eyes, as close as she can get to my body.  This elicits a 20-questions until you happen onto the correct question, and she nods.  This I have tried to stop doing, in order to force her to speak her mind, but it is still a struggle, and she will often opt not to get whatever it is she wants, if it requires that she speak it out loud.

But the funny thing is that during circle time, the one thing she has no problem asking for out loud, I sing a song that names each child.  It goes "Hi, so-and-so, I see you.  Hi, so-and-so, I see you.  Hi, so-and-so, I see you.  Skip to my lou my darling."  Sung to the tune of skip to my lou.

Once I have completed the circuit, and named each child, she immediately jumps in to sing the whole thing for me.  In her excitement, she almost screams the song "Hi, Miss Reina, I see you!"

It is so funny.  Especially since it is so hard to get her to say anything else, anytime during the day!

Circle Time Master

I have a little 3-yr-old that is super smart, and likes to "direct" the activities around here!  She steps in when she think I'm not doing an adequate job of caregiver.  It's very amusing.

Yesterday, when I ended circle time disappointingly early (due to exhaustion), she stepped in to finish the job.  I do a version of Ring Around the Rosy that ends with the kids falling into statues.  Then each child is "noticed" for the statue that s/he has chosen.

When I thanked them for singing with me and moved on to do something else, they clamored for Ring Around the Rosy.  I told them to remember that, and we would do that tomorrow.  Unsatisfied, my little director stepped in to run circle time herself.  She organized the kids into a circle, sang the song, then did the noticing of each child after.

That is what caught my attention.  Her cute little voice saying "R has one foot up in the air, and two hands on the floor.  M is laying flat on the floor with her eyes closed.  S is..."  So cute, and capable.

When are you going to die?

I have a 3 year old that is really trying to understand life after death.  This was her question for me this morning.

Miss Reina, when are you going to die?
When I'm old, I reply.
No, where will you go when you die?
I don't know, I've never died before, I say.
No, where will you go when you die?  she asks again, not happy with my answer.
I don't know.  If I've died before, I don't remember.

Frustrated, she tries a different tack.

Where's your God? she asks.
In heaven, I say.  I'm not sure if I believe this, but I know she does, so she is happy, and lets the matter go.  I think she just wants to make sure I'm going to be ok when I die.  She's looking out for me.

Wouldn't she really flip out if she knew that everyone asks this question at many stages of their lives with varying degrees of certainty.  She wants answers, and adults are supposed to know them!

Field Trip!

I took the kids to the zoo on Friday!  That happens so rarely that it is something to celebrate.  I had only four kids, and three were from one family, so I traded my big truck for her carseat-ready minivan, threw in an extra booster, and voila!

I packed snack and a lunch, remembered to let my food-program lady know that I wouldn't be home, and took off for parts-unseen-in-a-long-time!  I was smart enough to look online for zoo hours, so we had time to go to a new park before opening time.  We stayed there for snack, then jumped back into the car to head for the zoo.  At the last minute I realized I'd forgotten to pack sunscreen and a diaper bag, so we swung by the house on the way.

We got to the zoo 30 minutes after opening time, just in time to watch a parade of school children swarm into the zoo ahead of us!  Apparently it was take-your-class-to-the-zoo day, because there were at least four different schools that I could see.  Tons of kids for that tiny zoo!

On my way to the front gate I got a call from another parent that had showed up at my house.  She is all over the place when it comes to schedule, sometimes coming as late as 11:00 without warning, but Friday is definitely NOT one of her contracted days.  In fact, although she will sometimes ask to come on Friday, she had been out for the previous two without comment, so it was safe (I thought!) to assume she would not be there this week.

Apparently, I was wrong!  She called from my house, wondering where everyone was.  I told her we were out, and that I had not expected her.  Her grandmother had been watching her son on Fridays, and I commented about this on the phone.  Oh yeah, she says, she decided she'd rather do Saturdays.

Really?  Don't you think you should let me know?  The crappy thing is that I really feel bad about putting ANYONE out, and if my not being there for her created a hardship or an excuse for her to not be out hunting for a job, then I would feel especially bad.  But although I considered it, I was proud of myself for not cutting our planned excursion short and just telling her I couldn't be available for her.  I hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the long run.

Preschool

I started writing exercises with my 4-yr-old this year, and got out a Discovery Toys writing tool that I like to see how well he could control his movements.  I've been going slow with him because he's a very active boy and doesn't have a long attention span when it's time to sit and work!

The writing exercise was about moving across the page from left to right following a line that got fainter and fainter until it was no longer there and he had to create the line himself.  It starts with a straight line left to right, then zig-zag, then rounded, then loops, mimicking the motion various alphabetic letters may make.

It always amazes me how foreign it is to hold a pencil correctly.  For some reason I just assumed it was natural.  I don't remember having to be taught, and I've heard many comments from educators in the classes I have taken talk about pencil grip and how it is deteriorating.  I have been told by child development experts that pencil grip is refined by large motor skills, especially those that work the shoulders, which is harder and harder to accommodate.

He did very well on the simpler shapes, especially well with the straight line.  Some of the curvier shapes were tricky.  However, I could see a marked improvement just from start to finish.  A few more days and he'll be good at this as well!  He is super quick to pick up new skills.

I've been also working on getting him to say "I" instead of "my".  That is definitely harder.  His speech habits are just that, habits.  And habits are VERY hard to break!  I have noticed when "I" appears in one of our circle songs, though, he has no problem saying it in the song, so it's just a matter of being consistent.

I'm nothing if not consistent!  Well, most of the time...  ;-)

Kid Shortage

I had three interviews for potential clients recently.  Two out of the three seemed likely.  The third I knew would never consider a place like mine.  She was referred through Sierra Moms, but was too over protective of her children to like my style.  She wouldn't let the 3-yr-old out of her sight, even when we could hear her playing in the playroom nearby, and she kept jerking the infant away from curious little eyes.  She even complained that her 3-yr-old daughter wanted to touch the baby too much.  There was definitely no way she would appreciate my "let kids be kids" attitude!

The other two were very positive, so I was surprised that I didn't hear back from either one.  I followed up with them both this week and in both cases my hours aren't long enough.  Bummer.

This economy is forcing parents to go further and further afield to find work, so in one case they needed someone who opened at 6:00 am, and in the other someone who closed at 6:30 pm.  I can't imagine my day could get any longer than it is already, but I may have to consider a 6:00 pm closing time just to stay afloat.

I know that longer hours is a big draw for center-based care.  Twelve hour days make it very convenient for commuting parents, that's for sure.  Centers can stay open for twelve hours because they basically carry two shifts of employees.  Here, although I have an assistant, I'm on the clock for every moment I'm open, even when I'm not physically present.  Ultimately, these kids are my responsibility, and I am never far in case I'm needed.

I know there are some in-home providers that stay open until 6:00 pm.  I know of many who are only open 3-4 days a week, or who only do after-school care, or are only open 9 hours.  I don't know how those find clients able to work with that schedule.  There has to be a balance in order not to get burned out.  I guess there is a reason the average lifespan of an in-home provider is 7 years!

I'm trying a new form of advertising soon, so maybe that will generate more leads.  Right now my plan is to continue as I am until my son is out of school, then work through the summer without help.  My assistant is going on maternity leave soon, so hopefully by the time she is ready to come back, there will be work for her.  Otherwise, I have found that this is a very cyclical business, and have had several periods in the last six years where I've had an assistant, then worked alone, then needed an assistant again.

I'm willing to wait and see!

Interesting Use of Cleaning Tools!

Playing with cleaning tools in fun and imaginative ways!  Yay for imaginative play!

Sisters

I took my kids to the park today. My numbers are way down, and I only had 3 this morning, so I piled them into carseats and set out for a new park experience.

This park had a 4 seater seesaw that was quite an attraction. I have a set of sibling sisters and it's fun and interesting to watch the dynamic between them. Most of the time, little sister (2) is a pain in the behind to big sister (3 1/2). But yet there is still a pull to be the big sister and include her.  You can see the dichotomy in her face every time big sister gets annoyed, but then feels like she has to make it up to her.

The two 3-year-olds found a like-minded friend at the park that loved the seesaw. But realizing that three made the thing wobble terribly, big sister set out to recruit little sister as their fourth seat.

When little sister decided she didn't like the teeter totter big sister tried a commanding voice to get her back on the seesaw.  Little sister would have none of it.

Big sister, not being successful with recruiting decided the thing was too unstable and went off to find a new thing to play.


I watched this with interest.  The discovery of a new device, experimenting to figure out how it works, then finding a solution to the problem, all within the minds of three-year-olds.  It was fun and interesting to notice the thought capacity of these little minds.  It also makes me reconsider the things I take for granted because I already know how everything works.  (Said with some sarcasm to that last bit.)


It must be exciting to make new discoveries, and new ways of doing things, every day.

Things Kids Say!

Today, while working on a preschool project with a 3-year-old and a 4-year-old, I dumped out a bag full of pegs for the pegboard, and the 4yo says "what the hell!"

Boy was I surprised!  "What did you say?" I asked him.

The 3yo chimes in, "he said, what the heck."  And without missing a beat the 4yo replies "No!  I said what the hell!"

I couldn't help but laugh!  Out of the mouth of babes...

I immediately texted the whole conversation to his mother.  Too funny.  She said, "straight from his momma's mouth!"

These are the tidbits that make this job fun!

Sunny Days and Flaky Parents

Friday was finally a sunny day.  Let me tell you, for living in the heart of California, it sure hasn't lived up to it's climate promises this spring!  I know the rain is good, and we need the water in the lake, blah, blah, blah, but *I* need sun!

And Friday was finally sunny again.  It's supposed to start raining again tomorrow, but I'll deal with that tomorrow.

One of my little boys begged and begged to go to the park again.  I really would have loved to take them, but I had another kid I was expecting, and I couldn't very well not be home when they arrived, right?

When the little boy asked again around snack time, I sent the parent a text finally, to ask if they would be coming.  She said they would, but were getting a late start.  More waiting.  I told the little boy we couldn't go because his friend would be coming soon.

By lunch time the little boy was extremely disappointed.  He asked if we could go to the park after nap time.  Still no show on the other kid.  Everyone had lunch and went down for nap, and sometime during nap time the mom texted me to say they weren't going to make it at all.

Ugh.  I know I get paid whether he shows or not, but it still messes up my ability to plan the day when this sort of thing happens!

Park Day

Today I took the kids to the park.  My assistant called in, she didn't want to work.  Normally that would freak me out, but lately my numbers have dropped so much that I'm actually losing money by having her work.  In addition, two of my full-time kids had a scheduled vacation day, so I was down to 3 kids in the morning.

I have one kindergartner that goes to the corner elementary that I had to pick up at 11:15.  With my assistant working, it's a piece of cake to run out and get him.  Without her I have to take all the kids with me.  But since there were only three, I thought it would be a great day for a trip to the park which sits right behind the elementary school.

After snack the boys got their tricycles, and the little girl walked beside me to the park.  The boys love that sort of thing!  They run and play like they are wild and crazy.  My backyard is tiny, and almost entirely concrete, so this gave them some much needed space that they don't get all day.

The days have finally turned to spring.  It was a pleasure to be out in the sunshine.

At 11:12 we headed over to the school and walked with the kinder home.  He was excited to see his friends there to pick him up, and it was so nice to be outside.

Once we got home I started to prepare lunch, and they still wanted to be outside.  After nap and dinner, we again went out in the backyard.  I love the warm days!  I even had to put sunscreen on the kids by late afternoon.  Their cheeks were beginning to pink!  I can't wait for summer.

About me...

I have a large family license, which in the State of California means I am licensed for 14 children if 2 of those are school-age and I have a second adult present.  A provider can work alone with a small family license with 8 kids if 2 of those are school-age.  I am curious if that is the same nationwide.

I am open from 7:00am to 5:30pm.  I have been asked by many to stay open until 6:00pm, but let me tell you, 10 1/2 hours is a long day!  That last half hour between 5:00 and 5:30 seems to drag!  Most parents don't really realize that unlike center staff that work 8 hour shifts, and get lunch breaks, we work straight through the day.  However long their commute is, we are working...  while they work, and go on break, and go to lunch, and come back to work, we are working...  and while they drive their reverse commute, we are working!  We don't get a lunch break, we're making lunch!

Plus, I have my own family to care for and spend time with in the evening.  My husband used to get home from work at 5:30pm, but now it's closer to 6:00pm.  His commute lengthened when his job moved.  But I still hope that his job will come back to town someday.  My son gets home from school around 3:00pm.  He's in first grade this year, and his bedtime is 7:30pm.  So getting dinner on the table, teeth brushed, books read, pajamas on, etc, is hard enough in 2 hours, I can't imagine what it would be if shrunk to an hour and a half.  Not counting the days he has something going on in the evening... or I do.

I know there are providers out there who work 11-12 hour days.  I don't know how you do it!

Experiment

This is an experiment in blogging about childcare. I have a personal blog, and am in the process of creating a website resource for family childcare providers. When that is up and running, I'll post the website address here.

My idea for this blog is to comment on the life of a childcare provider. I hope, because of the sensitive nature of this business, that I don't piss off, offend, antagonize, or do anything that might generate hate mail for me.

I know I'm caring for children. I know that's a big responsibility. I know that everyone believes that no one can raise a child as well as they can. That's just the nature of this field.

But I also hope that by sharing my experiences, you will laugh, or get inspired, or learn something. Maybe you can relate as another provider. Maybe you're a parent wondering what goes on when you're not watching. This is for all of that.

Take it for what it is. I am just a regular person, doing the best job I know how. If you have suggestions, please share. I'm always open to input and opinion. I ask only that you not be hateful.

Is that paranoid? I'm not sure. People get very emotional and quite polarized when talking about children.